Sunday, October 28, 2007

Women from War Torn Mindanao

Women from War Torn Mindanao

Life stories of migration as escape from an atrocious state of society


Aida has spent her life in relentless poverty. She did not know exactly why the war was waged in their small community in Kabakan, North Cotabato, but she knows for certain how the war affected her life. She and her family suffered extreme poverty that she had to work as a child for everyday sustenance. This, amid constant fear of the seemingly unending war in Mindanao.


The impoverished lives of women and people intensify as the war waged in Mindanao persists. The government’s military have unceasingly lodged in Mindanao in search of the ‘rebel groups’ Moro Islamic Liberation Front and Moro National Liberation Front and the ‘terrorist group’ Abu Sayaff. As the battle ensues, countless families in Mindanao endure the aggravating poverty and restlessness due to constant evacuation in the hope of evading the ruthless war.


Thus, aside from gender issues, women in war torn Mindanao confront more injustice in economic and social issues. Amid the ensuing war and destitution, women face a bigger challenge to survive. Even in lieu of shattered households and broken families, they opted to migrate for the urgent need to survive.


From the outskirts of Mindanao, countless Muslim women have migrated and sought justice against poverty and militarization in Manila and even overseas.


Massive poverty in Muslim Mindanao has persisted regime after regime. The government’s execution of war in Mindanao even intensified the condition of residents in the area. In militarized Mindanao, apparent poverty is even more magnified. Thus, women leave Mindanao and sees going abroad as a solution.


Urban Migration

Three Muslim women, who tried to escape landlessness, poverty and militarization from different war zones in Cotabato, shared their life stories. Momentarily, they reside in a Muslim community in Culiat, Quezon City. Culiat is a community known as a transitory residence of Muslims from Mindanao, who are planning to work abroad. Muslim women, from time to time, come in and out of the community.


Women from Mindanao usually migrate to Muslim communities in Manila. Culiat is one of the few communities that accommodate Moros. Almost the whole population of Culiat consists of Muslims. However, Culiat is only a transitory community for Muslims who are applying for work abroad and for those who have returned to the country.


Although Muslim men and women tried to escape restlessness due to militarization, they still experience such cruelty and harassment from men-in-uniform in Culiat. Due to the stigma linked with Muslims as ‘terrorists’ the military often target and raid Muslim community, Culiat, every time an act of terrorism (e.g. bus bombing) occurs. The police or the military often raid houses in Culiat and apprehend suspected Muslim terrorists. Aside from these, the Moros are also confronted with threats of demolition. This incites trauma of the lack of security and frequent evacuation they experienced with the war in Mindanao.


Life stories of three Moro women

The lives of the three women have things in common: militarization that aggravated their impoverished condition in Mindanao led them to internal migration and external migration. Aside from poverty, violence, and harassment, these women beset one problem in common – militarization.


(1) Aida Silayan

Age: 48 years old

Residence: Kabakan, North Cotabato


Like most children in the war-stricken Mindanao, Aida did not experience a peaceful childhood and the luxury of a peaceful and steady schooling. In North Cotabato, where she spent almost all her lifetime, encounters between the ‘rebel groups’ and the government’s military have been a constant scenario. Aida recounted how every now and then, her family, her neighbors, and the whole barangay would evacuate from their area like nomads every time the military would attack their barangay in search for the ‘Muslim rebels.’ She did not know what the war was all about, but she knew exactly how painstaking it was for them to move from one place to another in order to evade bullets firing across their homes.


Aida recounted how three families would squeeze themselves in a cavernous makeshift shelter below the ground. They would store food for a week-supply, while hiding from bullets dispatched by the military and the ‘Muslim rebels.’


She recalled how the military would arbitrarily arrested civilians in their barangay. She felt grief and terror when the military would apprehend, harass and beat her fellow Muslims in their area. She also cited incidents when the military would search for community tax certificate (CTC) from the residents of their barangay. If they cannot produce a CTC, the military would ask them to write their names. However, as most of the people there were illiterate, the military would then give them untoward orders like singing and dancing.


Meanwhile, Aida did not experience normal schooling, as classes would be suspended for weeks every time war was waged in their area. Aside from this, she also had to work as a child in order to help the family and have some money to pay expenses in school. She would work as a helper to neighbors, cleaning their houses and washing their clothes. Her parents worked as farmers, planting mais and palay. Her parents sell them in a bodega afterwards. However, their income was not enough to send her and all her siblings to school. Aida is the fifth child in a family of seven. Her parents and her older siblings would stop working in the farm whenever the war heightened.

The situation of Aida’s family worsened when her father died during her fourth grade in elementary. Due to poverty and constant war in their area, Aida had to stop after her second year in high school when her father died.


Present Condition

Poverty and unrest in Cotabato remained even when Aida got married and had a family of her own. She wanted to send all her children to school but she cannot find a decent-paying job in Mindanao. Aida, having not finished schooling, decided to go to Manila in 2004 to apply for a job as a domestic helper abroad. However, she had problems with health, and she was not allowed to work abroad. She instead decided to work in Manila so she can send some amount to her family in Mindanao. At present, while still hoping for a contract abroad, she works as a saleslady in a sari-sari store so she could send money to her children back home.


Although she could send a bigger amount (than what she used to earn in Mindanao) to her family, she still longs to be with her family and hopes that the war in Mindanao to end. She believes that if the war in Mindanao ends, the condition in Mindanao would be a lot better.


(2) Maimona B. Pendaliday

a.ka.Babylab A. Kali

Age: 24 years old

Residence: Bongo Island, Parang North Cotabato


Life has also been tough for Babylab. Her parents have encountered the hardships and pains of the war so they decided to raise their children in a secluded area where they could less witness and suffer the strains of war.


Her parents worked as farmers in a plantation of copra. The landowner permitted them to live in that farm. Babylab’s parents would only get one third of the total income while the landowner would get two thirds. Instead of hiring workers to help him plant and harvest copras, Babylab’s father would ask her and her siblings to help in the fields in order to earn more. Babylab is the fifth child of the nine children in the family. Sometimes, Babylab’s family would also plant palay, kamote and other vegetables they can eat and sell especially when they have more expenses in school.


Although Babylab’s place is far from the war zone, she said that there is also military presence in their area. Soldiers were assigned in every barangay to make rounds and guard the area and search for the ‘Muslim rebels.’ Although she has not experienced military harassment yet, she said that they are constantly afraid of the soldiers. They fear any form of harassment from the soldiers. They are also afraid that the encounters may take place in their area due to military presence.


Schooling was not smooth sailing for Babylab either. Although their house was located in a relatively safer place, she had to endure two-hour walks everyday going to school. It was also not a steady schooling because every time the war sparks at the area of the school, classes are always suspended and students were asked to stay at home so that they will not be harmed in the war.


Every time a war ensues, Babylab’s residence becomes an evacuation center. About 200 people from Litayen would seek shelter from the Pendaliday residence up to a week every time war and encounters erupt. She said that they had to endure a sitting position while sleeping because they had to accommodate all those evacuees. Other evacuees, meanwhile, bear to sleep on the cold grounds outside their house.


Babylab is the only one in the family to finish high school. Her siblings have worked in an early age to help sustain their family. She wanted to continue her studies to college but she was not able to avail of a scholarship. At the age of 21, she decided to go abroad and work as a domestic helper.


Life abroad

Babylab said that most women in their place have been going abroad as domestic helpers in order to financially assist their families. Going abroad has been a trend for women in their area. Most of them have been earning their living as farmers. Even children are helping their parents in the farm.


Women affected by war in their place chose to go abroad seeking for a better livelihood. She said that it was easier for women to get a contract as domestic helpers abroad compared to men. Men should have skills for construction and other requirements so it is harder for them to get a job compared to women. Babylab said that 99 percent of women in their place go abroad to work.


Babylab has left the country twice to work as a domestic helper. She said she used an Christian pseudonym so she would not have problems with her muslim identity in working abroad. She worked for two and a half years in Kuwait and two months in Jeddah. She said that she was lucky to have good employers. She has endured to finish all her contracts, doing chores for other people and taking care of her employer’s mentally sick child. Two of her younger siblings can now go to school.


However, she frequently fears that the war affects her family because the military operations heightened in their area when she left. She said that going abroad is the only way to alleviate her family’s condition. She plans to earn enough money so could continue studying. She plans to take midwifery and nursing. When asked if she would still go abroad after finishing studies, she said she will until she earns enough.


She said that given the country’s political condition and with the escalating prices of oil and basic commodities in the country, the only solution she knows is to work abroad. She added that she cannot feel the government’s support to develop their community.


(3) Rahma Indong

Age: 16 years old

Residence: Pikit, Cotabato


Rahma’s experience was no different to Aida’s stories about the war. At a young age, Rahma had to stop going to school and work to help her parents. Rahma’s parents are also farmers. Her parents income were not enough to sustain their family.


Like Aida, she has experienced frequent evacuation every time military operations are waged in Pikit. Military presence is also a frequent scenario in Pikit. She said that every time a war ensues in Pikit, her parents would stop working in the fields which resulted in less income for the family.


At an early age, she decided to stop studying and opted to work to help sustain the family. However, there are only limited jobs in Pikit and most jobs available are low-paying especially to those who have not finished a college or high school degree. Thus, she migrated to Culiat, while applying for a job abroad. While jobs that do not require a degree (e.g. domestic helper) are available abroad, Rahma is having problems with her age. Rahma, at the age of 16, is a minor and jobs abroad have particular age requirements. Persistent with her plan, she said that her recruiter might arrange her age in the papers for her to be admitted for a job abroad. Some of Rahma’s friends, meanwhile, have worked in Manila instead of going abroad.


Root Causes of Militarization

Different regimes have consistently declared war or ordered military operations in Mindanao in order to search for what the government call ‘muslim rebels,’ which include the groups Moro Islamic Liberation Front, Moro National Liberation Front, and the ‘terrorist group’ Abu Sayyaf.


Aida said she did not know exactly why the war ensues but she has seen the war from her childhood until she left Mindanao only three years ago. She hears about the war that affects her family up to now. Although she does not know the root causes of the war, she know very well the effects of the consistent military operations in Mindanao. She sharply pointed out that the war hindered their livelihood and the development of Mindanao in general, especially in the outskirts where they live. She also symphatizes with her fellow civilian muslims who are harassed and arbitrarily arrested by the military.


Babylab and Rahma had the same insights. Their work in the farms (which is their main source of livelihood) ceases every time military operations commence.


Social effects of militarization to women and children

All three women said that the military carried friendly countenance when they went to their communities. The military would even gather the people and explain that they would cause no harm in the community. However, all of them felt unwanted fear with the military presence. They said that although most of the military are friendly in approaching them, they still feel a certain trauma that the military might harass them. They also feared that the military presence in their place may also attract the MILF, MNLF or the Abu Sayyaf in their community.


Another glaring trend that transpired during the interview points to migration of women in order to work abroad. All of them said that the only solution to their financial problems was to work overseas. All of them have not finished their studies. Thus, aside from the fact that there are only limited jobs in Mindanao, having not finished an educational degree adds up to their deficiencies to land in a good job that could sustain their survival. It has been a trend that mostly women go abroad to work as domestic helpers because they have more potential in landing in a job than men. Employment abroad, for men, has more requirements than women.


Lastly, most children in war zones in Mindanao do not finish schooling because to the distraction caused by constant military operations in their place. Children in war zones do not experience normal schooling. They had to evacuate every time the war ensues. Most of the time, classes are suspended.


War on terrorism worsens the condition of women

The women did not cite any sexual abuse experiences that went along the war on terrorism. However, it is striking that most women in war-torn Mindanao have opted to work abroad as domestic helpers for the survival of their families. This heightens the co modification of women doing such dirty jobs abroad.


In the end the problems confronting women in war torn Mindanao are economic, social and political: the lack of decent employment, living in constant fear of the military and the war, and the heightening program of the government for ‘dirty jobs’ abroad for women.



Sunday, October 14, 2007

Tala nina Lola

Tala nina Lola:

Ang Panggagahasa ng mga Hapon sa Kababaihan at Bayan noong Digmaan



Umaalingawngaw pa rin ang pagputok ng baril at pagsabog ng bomba sa mga salaysay sa ng mga ngayo’y tinagurian nang lola, sa pagsakop ng mga Hapon sa ating bansa noong 1940s. Bagamat mahigit anim na dekada na ang nakakaraan, nakabibingi pa rin ang ugong ng napigtas na kuwerdas ng pagkawasak ng kanilang kamusmusan sa panahon ng digmaan.


Matagal nang natapos ang digmaan, nakamit na natin ang kasarinlan at ilang beses na rin tayong nakapagluklok ng sariling pangulo, ngunit dala-dala pa rin ng mga lolang naging comfort women ang pait na dinanas nila sa kamay ng mga sundalong Hapon. Patuloy pa rin silang nakapiit sa malupit na mga alaala kasabay ng hustisyang hindi pa nila nakakamit.




Mga Alaala’t Salaysay

Nasa Masbate si Felicidad Barberan delos Reyes nang dumating ang mga Hapon sa Pilipinas. Nasa elementarya pa lamang siya noon. Sinabi niyang animo'y mababait naman ang mga Hapon noong una. Sa pagkakatanda niya, nagkaroon pa nga ng programa para salubungin ang mga Hapon sa kanilang lugar. Ipinatawag siya, kasama ang iba pang mga bata sa kanilang lugar, upang magtanghal sa programang iyon. Tandang-tanda pa niya, Biyernes noon, ganap na ika-lima ng hapon naganap ang pagtatanghal. Wari nila'y ang programang iyon ang isang pagtatak ng maayos na pakikitungo ng mga Hapon sa kanilang komunidad.


Ngunit makalipas ang ilang araw, isa pala si Lola Fely sa mga magiging biktima ng kalupitan ng mga dayuhang iyon. Sinundo siya ng kanyang guro sa kanilang bahay. Ipinatatawag daw siya sa garrison. Hindi niya alam ang dahilan ngunit sumama siya. Pagdating doon, agad siyang isinilid sa isang kubo kung saan nagbibihis ang mga sundalong Hapon.


Ipiniit siya ng apat na araw. Wala siyang ginawa kundi umupo sa sahig at magmukmok. Isang gabi, ginahasa na siya ng isang sundalo. Naulit ito ng ilang araw. Ganoon na ang kaayusan sa kwartong iyon magmula noon, magmumukmok, darating ang mga sundalo, pupuwersahin, pagkatapos, hihikbi sa isang sulok. Binibigyan siya ng pagkain ngunit ni hindi man lang niya ito tinikman o ginalaw man lang dahil sa kanyang sinapit. Nagkasakit siya dahil dito. Lagi niyang kinakalampag ang pinto at nagmamaka-awang payagan na siyang umuwi. Sumagi pa sa isip niyang magpakamatay na lamang dahil sa mga nangyari sa kanya.




Hanggang sa isang araw, may narinig siyang umiiyak sa kabilang kawarto. Doon na na niya naisip na hindi siya nag-iisa. Mayroon pang ibang mga batang babae na ganoon din ang sinipit. Bagamat hinang-hina na siya, nanumbalik ang kanyang tapang dahil sa lakas ng loob na ipinapakita ng kanyang mga kasama. Kinausap siya ng isang batang babae at sinabihang huwag siyang mag-iingay dahil baka patayin sila ng mga sundalo. Sumagot siyang mas mabuti pa ngang patayin na lamang siya kaysa patuloy pang daanasin ang hirap ng pagkakakulong at panggagahasa sa kanya.



Natapos lamang ang kanyang paghihirap nang bigla na lamang silang pinauwi isang araw. Ginamot ng kanyang ina ang mga sugat at pinalakas din ang kanyang loob. Doon din niya nalaman na pinuntahan siya ng kanyang ama sa garison ngunit pinagbantaan ng mga sundalo ang kaniyang buhay. Tinulungan siya ng kanyang inang tanggapin ang pangyayari at lumaban.


Naging comfort woman din si Lola Narcisa. Ngunit bukod sa panggagahasa sa kanya ng mga Hapon, lalo pa siyang nasaktan sa dinanas ng kanyang buong pamilya sa kamay ng mga sundalo. Nakikita niya ang kanyang ate sa loob ng kampo. Minsan, may pasa at minsan naman, may paso ng sigarilyo sa kanyang katawan. Nakakamusta lang niya ang kanyang ate sa mga nakaw na pag-uusap.


Ang kuya naman niya ay ginawang tagabuhat ng mga sundalo kapag kailangan nilang lumipat ng kampo. Tadyak, palo, at suntok ang inaabot nila tuwing magkakamali o kapag sumasayad lang sa lupa ang bota ng mga sundalong binibitbit nila.


Laking pasasalamat na lamang ni Lola Narcisa sa mga gerilyang Pilipinong lumaban sa mga mananakop na Hapon. Aniya, sila ang tunay na nakapag-palayas ng mga mananakop sa ating bansa. Tumatagos pa sa kanyang gunita ang mga nababalitaan niya noong sunod-sunod na pag-atake ng mga gerilyang Pilipino sa mga Hapon. Ikinagalak rin niya ang balitang mananalo na ang mga gerilya hanggang sa dumating ang mga Amerikano upang pasukuin ang mga Hapon.


Mga bangungot pagkatapos ng digmaan


Makalipas ang ilang taon matapos ang digmaan, naging mabigat pa rink ay Lola Narcisa ang mga pangyayari. Iniisip niyang nawalan na siya ng dangal. Hanggang sa dumating ang araw na makilala niya ang kanyang naging asawa. Naging maluwag ang pagtanggap niya kay Lola Narcisa bagamat naging comfort woman siya dahil naiintindihan niya ang nangyari noong digmaan. Naging biktima rin siya noon, at tulad ni Lola Narcisa, naging comfort women din ang mga kapatid niyang babae. Sinuportahan niya si Lola Narcisa at binigyan niya ng lakas ng loob.


Nagkaroon sila ng mga anak, ngunit hindi na nila ikinuwento sa mga ito ang hirap na naranasan nila noong panahon ng digmaan. Bagkus, sinikap na lamang nilang pag-aralin at ibigay ang mga pangangailangan ng kanilang mga anak.



Ngunit isang araw, narinig ni Lola Narcisa ang mga panawagan ng mga paghingi ng mga salaysay mula sa mga naging comfort women. Dahil sa bumabalik pa rin ang mga bangungot ng mga malulupit na araw na iyon, napagpasyahan ni Lola Narcisa na lumantad bagamat naisip niyang maaari siyang ikahiya ng kaniyang mga anak. Ngunit pagdating ng araw ng kanyang pagsasalaysay sa harap ng maraming tao, dumating ang kanyang mga anak. Narubdob siya sa pang-unawang ibinigay nila. Naging esensyal ang suportang ibinigay nila sa kanyang paglantad para sa pahahanap at paglaban para sa katarungan.



Paghahanap ng Hustisya
Samantala, marami nang tulad nina Lola Narcisa at Lola Felicidad na ang nagbigay ng kanilang mga testimonya patungkol sa kanilang karanasan. Mahigit isang dekada na rin ang kanilang paghahanap ng katarungan.


Nakadalo na si Lola Felicidad sa mga pagdinig sa Japan. Nakasama na rin siya sa mga bansa tulad ng Switzerland upang ikuwento ang kanyang mga karanasan. Bagamat sinabi niyang, minsan na sila nabigyan ng kompensasyon ng gobyerno, hindi pa rin lubos ang hustisyang kanilang nakamit. Ayon kay Lola Narcisa, kailangan pa ring managot ang mga Hapon sa kanilang malupit na pagtrato sa mga kababaihan at mamamayang Pilipino. Sinabi niyang, sa digmaang iyon, ang mga walang kasalanan ang sinaktan.


Tanging sa mga libro na lamang mababasa ng karamihan sa ating henerasyon ngayon ang kasaysayan ng karahasan ng mga Hapon sa ating bansa. Sa ngayon, may mga lola pang buhay na testimonya sa mga ito at naghihintay na matikman ang tamis ng inaasam na katarungan. Dahil ang panggagahasa sa ating kababaihan, ay panggagahasa sa ating bayan.



Monday, October 08, 2007

Listahan ng dadalhin:


Ngayong umaga, magbabaon ako
Ng isang kahang lakas ng loob
upang maikubli ang nanginginig kong buto
Isang tasang kape
kung saan lulunurin ang puyat
Isang malaking bag
na sisidlan ng pagod
Isang pudpod na tsinelas
na papasan ng aking bigat
Isang panyo
para sa pawis
Isang kurba ng ngiti
sa matamlay kong mukha.


Mamayang gabi, mag-uuwi ako
ng isang kamang antok
isang bag ng basura
isang pudpod na tsinelas
isang basong pawis
isang mukhang puno ng alikabok
at isang panyong puno ng paumanhin.


-d.n. julian




Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Free Burma!


Photos from AP



Clad in maroon tapestries and with shaved heads, charming monks who usually utter prayers quietly, lead a hundred thousand infuriated Burma citizens on the large streets of Yangon in a spontaneous protest against the aggravating economic conditions and the dictatorship of the regime.


The protest actions, which was recorded as the largest in 20 years, was spurred by the sudden and distressing oil price hike. Reports described the demonstrators occupying an eight-lane road on a one-mile stretch.


In a desperate attempt of the Myanmar government to quell the protests, the military raids monasteries and abducts monks. The monks and other civilians are now subject of military harassment, detention and killings.


Gathering people in the streets might not be their usual routine, but through this radical move, they remain true to their virtue: they’re calling for peace and freedom.#



Tuesday, October 02, 2007

funny, but i indulge

Here’s another piece of me: I surreptitiously check horoscopes although I don’t believe in them. Maybe I just enjoy the idea that sometimes the readings match some occurrence in my life. I also appreciate the advice they usually give. And just maybe, it’s a form of entertainment for me.


Here’s a tarot reading test I took from a link in dang sering’s old blog. I actually don’t understand what it means. But I totally agree with the last line which says I have ambivalent mood swings.


You are The High Priestess

Science, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.

The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. She holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change or fluxuation, particularily when it comes to your moods.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Brewed Coffeee ala Kalinga


Ilang araw na rin akong hindi pinapatulog ng brewed coffee ala Kalinga. Hindi ko alam kung anong klaseng kape yun, o kung kape ba talaga siya, o kung ganoon ba talaga dapat ang kape: maitim, mabango, gigisingin ka mula umaga hanggang gabi, hanggang madaling araw, hanggang mag-umaga kinabukasan. Kagabi, sinamahan niya akong paglamayan ang pagtatapos ng isa sa mga paborito kong buwan ng taon, ang Setyembre.

Bilang pagdiriwang ilalathala ko ang isang bersong naisulat at muntik nang mabulok sa isang sulok ng aking imbakan.



Bukas, pagdilat mo ng iyong mga mata,
pag sumilip na ang araw sa iyong bintana,
dadampian ka ng malamig na hangin,
hahawakan mo ang iyong pisngi.
Suot mo pa ba ang natitirang bakas ng aking halik?
Ito ang araw ng pag-alala sa mga umagang
nakagisnan mong umikot sa iyong kama
at masilayan ang aking mukha.
Gigising ako mula sa isang gabing
muntik nang di matapos at kasama ka.
Ito ang araw ng pag-gunita
Sa mga umagang nakalimutan mo na.


- dina julian



Friday, September 28, 2007

Quotable Excerpts from the ZTE Senate Hearings

and my Mom’s phone call


Does reducing hair line mean dishonesty?” –Sen. Jamby Madrigal to Jose de Venecia III


China invented civilization in Asia. But they also invented corruption.” – Miriam Santiago. She apologized for it afterwards.


He doesn’t even know if it’s P200, P200,000 or P200M.” – COMELEC Chair Benjamin Abalos (na pagmumukha pa lang, corrupt na), referring to the bribery allegation of NEDA Sec. Romula Neri.


"You are my friend. You have nothing to fear in the congress." - JDV to Abalos in a news interview.


Ako: Ma, andyan po si Gloria ngayon sa New York. (referring to PGMA’s UN trip)

Mama: Oh? Bakit hindi ka nagpadala ng package para sa amin? (thinking of utilizing all means to cheap package delivering from Phil. to US and vice versa)

Ako: Eh, baka hindi makarating sa inyo. Baka kuhanin na lang niya yun.#



My Mom’s Birthday

and what I have missed


It was my Mom’s birthday two days ago and I felt a bit melancholic. At family events like this, I yearn to go home and celebrate with them, just like the old times.


My family’s tradition was to set up a small party at home. We cook pasta, buy cake and ice cream, and satiate our cravings for holiday cuisine. Sometimes, we dine out together. When I was kid, I used to save up weeks before so I could buy her a gift. But the most important part of the feast is the idea that we celebrate it together.


The last time we celebrated our Mom’s birthday together was in 2004. It was also my father’s despidada. My dad left for the US in early October that year. In less than a year after, my mom, my brother, and my sister followed, consecutively.


Now, I can only be with them through hours-long phone calls. My Mom said there had been slight changes in the birthday menu. She cooked pancit (as they miss Philippine cuisine), bought pizza and “buffalo wings” (I don’t even know if that was a proper noun). I got lost with that one because I took it literally during our conversation. But my mom explained that those were chicken wings that had its origin in New Jersey before it became popular.


My brother told me that my Dad bought her two bouquets of flowers and surprised her with ice cream later that day. I though it was really sweet that my dad was able to give my mom a gift, a privilege he didn’t have when he spent almost a decade working as an engineer in Saudi when we were still young.


My sister told me, with her slightly English-turning-twang in her Tagalog, that my Mom cried when my dad wasn’t able to buy a cake for her. Like me, my mom must have remembered what our traditional parties looked like. And maybe she recalled that I was on it.

Friday, September 21, 2007

May Dispersal na sa Ayala

(A prose I’ve written during the proclamation of PP1017 in February 2006.)


Nahulog ng mama ang fishbol na kakatuhog lamang niya nang mabangga ko siya sa pagmamadaling makasakay ng dyip. Pagkalulan, lumingon ako upang sana’y humingi ng pasensya. Nagmumura na ang mama dahil wala nang mahugot na barya mula sa kanyang bulsa.


Naalala ko ang dispersal sa Ayala nitong huli lamang. Marami ang napamura sa walang habas na pagtutulak ng mga pulis kahit naiipit na ang mga kabataan sa mga nakaharang na sasakyan. Bawal na magrally sa Ayala. Uso na ang water cannon sa EDSA. Nakabarikada na rin ang Mendiola.


Inabot ko ang eksaktong pamasahe sabay sabing “estudyante lang po” para maiwasan ang aberya. Lagi kasing nakasimangot ang mga drayber pag kulang sa regular ang inabot na pasahe lalo na nang magtaas ang langis. Napatitig ako sa dyaryo ng katapat kong mama.


May ni-raid na dyaryo. Bantay-sarado ang mga militar at pulisya. May pinag-huhuli nang mga kongresista. Bawal magsalita ang mga gabinete na walang permiso ng pangulo. May nag-aaklas na militar. Kinakasuhan ang dyaryong tumutuligsa sa gobyerno. Aakusuhan ng sedisyon, rebelyon, komunismo.


Pagkababa ko ng dyip, lumapit ang batang nakaabot ang palad “Konting tulong lang po. Maawa na kayo.”


May water cannon na sa EDSA. Nakabarikada na ang Mendiola. May dispersal na rin sa Ayala.#

A prelude to “May Dispersal na sa Ayala”


Exactly 35 years ago, Marcos declared the all-time terrifying Martial Law – a decree that blatantly took away the people’s democracy in the country. I haven’t even been born during Macoy’s reign of terror but I can depict the horrifying images of unrest through stories told and through the pages written about it. As Pete Lacaba described, those were “days of disquiet” and “nights of rage.”


Back then, it was easier to decipher the enemy, it was easier to ascertain what was wrong. The war was waged with unwavering desire for freedom.


The hard earned battle of our predecessors passed on a legacy to us. We had to vow that never again would martial law be enacted. At present, however, the battle ensues. The current regime uses language to cloak tyranny.


To counter the growing dissent of the people to economic and political crisis, Pres. Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo issued an executive order dubbed as Calibrated Preemptive Response (EO 464), “forbidding government officials to appear in congressional inquiries.” On February 2006, meanwhile, Arroyo declared a State of Emergency (PP 1017), giving her power to suppress an emerging uprising. With the proclamation, Arroyo had the power to issue warrantless arrests and take over private institutions. PP 1017 thumped a familiar sound from the 70s.


I never experienced martial law but I can write the martial law of our time.



Here is a prose I’ve written during the proclamation of PP1017 in 2006.


May Dispersal na sa Ayala


Nahulog ng mama ang fishbol na kakatuhog lamang niya nang mabangga ko siya sa pagmamadaling makasakay ng dyip. Pagkalulan, lumingon ako upang sana’y humingi ng pasensya. Nagmumura na ang mama dahil wala nang mahugot na barya mula sa kanyang bulsa.

Naalala ko ang dispersal sa Ayala nitong huli lamang. Marami ang napamura sa walang habas na pagtutulak ng mga pulis kahit naiipit na ang mga kabataan sa mga nakaharang na sasakyan. Bawal na magrally sa Ayala. Uso na ang water cannon sa EDSA. Nakabarikada na rin ang Mendiola.


Inabot ko ang saktong pamasahe sabay sabing “estudyante lang po” para maiwasan ang aberya. Lagi kasing nakasimangot ang mga drayber pag kulang sa regular ang inabot na pasahe lalo na nang magtaas ang langis. Napatitig ako sa dyaryo ng katapat kong mama.


May ni-raid na dyaryo. Bantay-sarado ang mga militar at pulisya. May pinag-huhuli nang mga kongresista. Bawal magsalita ang mga gabinete na walang permiso ng pangulo. May nag-aaklas na militar. Kinakasuhan ang dyaryong tumutuligsa sa gobyerno. Aakusuhan ng sedisyon, rebelyon, komunismo.


Pagkababa ko ng dyip, lumapit ang batang nakaabot ang palad “Konting tulong lang po. Maawa na kayo.”


May water cannon na sa EDSA. Nakabarikada na ang Mendiola. May dispersal na rin sa Ayala.#

Friday, September 07, 2007

The Wicked Truth…

… that I’m now a Tita of my Kuya’s second child.




Caitlin. Life breaths anew in this little baby girl.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Saved by the “Shawshank Redemption”



I was sick for a whole weekend, confined to my bed and couldn’t move around much so I decided to salvage myself from boredom by watching films from a Morgan Freeman DVD collection. I imagined myself seeing detective-type stories like “Seven” (with Brad Pitt) and “Along came a Spider,” which are actually leisurely types of films that thrill me without getting exhausted on a lazy night.


But then, I came across an old film, starring Morgan Freeman and Tim Robins, directed by Darabont, and was produced in 1999. It was, I thought, a detective-type at first until I got the hang of it and ended it, landing into my list of all-time-favorite movies.


Shawshank Redemption is a prison drama based on Stephen King’s novella entitled “Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption." It didn’t win any award in the Oscars but it gained recognition through time, like a classic that was not properly appreciated in its time.


Shawshank Redemption was set in the 1950s, the time of pin-up posters. Rita Hayworth was one of the most popular pin-up girls during that time. These posters, together with a small rock hammer, became accomplices to Defrenes’ (Tim Robins) ultimate goal of escaping.


Dufresne, a rich banker, landed on Shawshank (the prison) after he was convicted of killing his unfaithful wife. He found a friend in Red (Morgan Freeman), the narrator, who has the ability to smuggle contrabands into the prison.



While in prison, Defresne’s made a number of innovations for the inmates. He was able to establish a library expansion that functioned and teach the inmates how to read and write. As a banker, he also gained the trust of prison guards, including the warden, to settle their tax problems.





Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Naivete/Ignorance/Idiocracy of a Socialite Columnist

Recently, Filipinos from different corners of the world stormed the web community in loathe and contempt of columnist Malu Fernandez’s article regarding her experience with overseas Filipino workers on board a plane to Greece. The OFWs outrage and relentless barrage of hate mails has incited her to resign from Manila Standard and People Asia.

The article was a mere mumbling of Fernandez’s abrupt and supposedly luxurious trip to Greece in contrast with her annoyance of flying with OFWs on board the economy class plane trip. Concerned OFWs were even more infuriated with her immediate unapologetic response. She finally gave up with the enormity and unified complaints against her.



If not for her insensitivity, Fernandez only mistake was her naivete or more aptly, her ignorance. For one, a columnist or any writer, for that matter, should be knowledgeable of her subject. The topic was not just about her and her posh lifestyle. She has transcended into an issue of great significance, a group of people of great importance in the national economy - the OFWs.




Thursday, August 23, 2007

A poignant farewell 'conversation’

with a two-year-old nephew


Ello is my Kuya’s first child. He’s the family’s first nephew, and my parents’ first apo. He was born and about to be raised in Hampshire, a suburban city near London.


I’ve only seen him once before their vacation this summer. He was only an infant when he first visited the Philippines with his parents. All I could remember was his saggy little cheeks that distract my visual memory of his face.


Now, he refuses to be called a baby. He prefers to be tagged as a toddler. And he is actually. Now, he can walk, talk and call me “Tita Joy.”


When he first saw me, he introduced me to a number of his collection of toy cars he couldn’t live without. I am not a fan of cars so it all looked the same to me except for the colors. He, on the other hand, was very keen and knowledgeable enough to distinguish one from the other with particularity on their model, series and version. He then showed me a magazine of Ferraris, Porshe, Mustang, and other rare and luxurious car models that I have never encountered. It was quite astonishing how a two-year-old could know more about something than an adult.


When he wakes up, he looks for me in my room in the condo unit they rented fearing that I might have left while he slept. Sometimes, he wakes me up by staring at me across my pillow. We used to walk around the subdivision starting off at his favorite place – the parking lot. He explored the cars and identified each one of them as my Kuya and I chatted.


We were only together for barely two weeks but he loved me. And the time came that I had to send them off to the airport.


I am exhausted saying goodbyes at the airport. I feel like shredding into pieces knowing that my whole family is beyond that portal. This time, I thought I would not cry as I am already used to it. I have seen my dad, my mom, my younger brother and sister cross that portal.

So I hugged him and kissed him. It was a terrible mistake though when I tried to start a conversation regarding his feelings.


Tita Joy: Are you going to miss me?

Ello: Yes.

Why? You’re not coming?

Tita Joy: No, I’m not.

Ello: You’re going with Ate Lac? (His cousin from the mother-side)

Tita Joy: Yes

Ello: Why?

You don’t like me?



I was caught in momentary silence. I was lacking of the right words to say. At that instant, I felt like, my heart was crumbling into pieces, again. The idea that a two-year-old kid, whom I spent time only a few weeks with, could ever feel that loss from her Tita hurts me so much. Of course, I loved him. But I didn’t know what to say. How could I explain to a toddler the complexities of our situation or the ideas I know about social costs of migration?


As I hated it to happen, as I thought I’ve been exhausted with this, tears started gathering at the corners of my eye, as I was lacking of words to comfort him.


Luckily, before our conversation died down to a long pause, he turned to his left, away from me and saw a car pass by. He immediately said “Oh look, there’s a Honda.”


I smiled. Parting could hurt. But as they walked into the ‘check in’ area, I thought, when he grows up a little more, we’re going to have another conversation – a more profound one.




Monday, March 26, 2007

Random Thoughts
inside a Jeepney Jammed in Heavy Traffic


I can't do anything but mull over trivial matters whenever I get wedged in traffic. Here are some things I pondered about myself:

1. i usually stick my tongue out when i’m annoyed and when i don't know how to respond to people's comments. 2. i am always late. i was never too early for a rendezvous. i can keep you waiting for up to five hours. you can do yourself a favor and start without me. but i am trying my best and soon i might come early. 3. i easily get confused with trivial matters. 4. i am not a very sociable person. i find it hard to open a conversation. i can’t stand empty conversations. 5. i am not practical. 6. i cannot draw. 7. i have fetish for paints and brushes. 8. staring at nothingness, without a smile or a frown, is my default facial expression.9. i usually get lost. it takes time for me to learn how to go to a certain place. 10. i am easy to please but sometimes i expect too much.


Monday, March 12, 2007

Save the Life of Marilou Ranario!

She was a teacher before she worked as a domestic helper in Kuwait. She left the country and her profession, like most overseas Filipino workers, to sustain her family's needs.

Now, she stands in Kuwait's death row for killing her employer in defending her own life. Support our campaign to save her life.